U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
