He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
love makes seman taste better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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