O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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