yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
