he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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