you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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