I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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