well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
