would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
