Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
