Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am naked and annoyed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
