What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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