WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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