"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
