there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
