4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We left the knife in your bed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
