i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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