So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
