I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
