She's JV to your varsity
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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