my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
