oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
