OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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