your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
