i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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