So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
