He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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