We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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