hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
