It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
