Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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