Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
