You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
