I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
