I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
