Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I met the friendliest cop last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
