you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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