Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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