He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
