if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
