Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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