I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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