Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The uberlube is also flammable
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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