We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
