I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
