If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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