Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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