You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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