Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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