I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
