Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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